So, up to here, I was getting where God was trying to tell me. To be a peacemaker. Then, he made it a bit more personal and practical. He led me to Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." I thought, what does this verse have to do with the other verses about 'having peace with one another'?
So I asked God: What does that mean Lord, to submit to my husband? And this is what He told me in my Spirit: "It means to obey my commands. There is an order. You are both equal in my sight. It's like a boss and an employee relationship. Because the boss is in a position of leadership that doesn't make him more important, valued or more of a human being than the employee. It simply means that he needs to be respected as the leader, for the position that he is in. The employee must trust him and know that he oversees everything on behalf of everybody and that he is the one carrying on his shoulders the responsibility of his actions. The employee is the one who needs to try to maintain the peace between them ... do what he does best without trying to stir up things that might lead to conflict. On the other hand, the boss must value the employee, give him space to be himself, to strive at his full potential. And the relationship will grow." Then the Lord said: "Wives, be the peacemakers in your relationship with your husbands". "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:8 He continued: "Respect him as your leader. Listen to what he has to say. Ask him what his motives are. Be slow to anger, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20 "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15 Seek peace!
I know that one are of conflict between my husband and I is how we communicate with one another. I've been reading a book about communication where the author talks about what he believes is the most effective way of communication, empathic listening. He says that "as you authentically seek to understand, as you rephrase content and reflect feeling, you give the person psychological air. As he grows in his confidence of your sincere desire to really listen and understand, the barrier between what's going on inside him and what's actually being communicated to you disappears. It opens a soul to soul flow. He is not thinking and feeling one thing and communicating another. He begins to trust you with his innermost tender feelings and thoughts. " ("The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey, pp. 249) I see the link of what God is trying to show me. That I can be a peacemaker in my marriage by changing the way that I communicate with my husband. Seek peace he says to me! It is as if I can hear a friend saying: "Treat your husband with respect and honor because God chose him to be your leader. Stop arguing with God. Trust Him for He knows what you need. If you disagree with your husband, tell him in a way that doesn't disrupt the peace between you. You are to be the peacemaker in this relationship. He is to be love. You are to be peace. Trust the Lord with all your heart when things don't go the way you think they should go. Make God your refuge, and try not to disrupt the peace".
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."Romans 12:18
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